1. |
Arthur Miller
04:19
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Arthur Miller
Did I tell you that I love you?
I don't care what you done in the past
Oh what we got is so special
Today I played the town drunk from Downingtown
Got my second DUI
Spent 30 days in jail
I said oh why oh why
Yesterday I was a family guy
Hugs and kisses to my wife
I played with the children outside
And said oh this just feels so right
Who writes these lines anyway?
Who writes these lines everyday?
Today I played the asshole from Downingtown
I told off everyone I know
I flicked off a priest walking by
He said bless you son it'll be alright
Yesterday I was a kind hearted man
Held the door open for an elderly woman
Flagged a car on by at a stop sign
Said I'm in no hurry it'll be fine
Who writes these lines anyway?
Who writes these lines everyday?
Today I played the town clown from Downingtown
I had everyone rolling on the floor
I told a joke about a guy who owned a pizza shop
Ah he didn't have any dough
Yesterday I played the saddest guy in town
I watched TV with a frown
I made everyone cry
They asked “Dave, is everything alright?”
Who writes these lines anyway?
Who writes these lines everyday?
How you doing tonight officer?
Do you know you were swerving back there?
No I had no idea
Can I ask you to step out of the car?
No problem
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2. |
The Baltic Line
02:59
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The Baltic Line
I walked down to the power lines
I was waiting for your call
I walked down to the Baltic Line
You never called me
I walked down to the county line
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3. |
Dunn-Rite Construction
02:14
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Dunn-Rite Construction
You only asked for a phone book
I never thought you were a crook
We struck up a conversation
Like friends doing coke in a basement
Then you offered me a job
Dropping off contracts in a parking lot
You wanted me to buy my shirts
$56 a pop I guess that works
I could only give you forty
But you wanted more money
I got a ride the next day
To an Arby's in the first state
Kenny Dunn-Rite done wrong again
You showed me your blue prints
I never knew I was part of it
We looked like Richard Gere
And Ed Norton in Primal Fear
You were a minister of the kids
But you stared at the waitresses tips
You wanted me to rent a car
But little did you know you wouldn't get far
She made us pumpkin pie
Then she gave us both a ride
To the house to cash a check
But Sunday's banks don't cash checks yet
Kenny Dunn-Rite done wrong again
Then she drove us to the mall
Kenny's cot was looking small
You wanted money for a phone
But I thought twice and called back home
When I got home I called the cops
Kenny's hotel room was unlocked
Fifteen warrants, denied bail
Convicted and now you're in jail
You tried to buy me a suitcase
Are you still fond of storage space?
Kenny Dunn-Rite done wrong again
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4. |
Hey, You Never Know
02:36
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Hey, You Never Know
I buy lottery tickets
Almost every single day
And I cross my fingers
When you read the numbers
Oh Yolanda
Yolanda Vega
Get me out of here
Cause I'm so stuck here
We can go to Jamaica
Drink some Pina Coladas
Then we'll roam the beaches
Pick up some sea shells
Oh Yolanda
Yolanda Vega
I buy scratch off tickets
Because it's convenient
And I keep on scratching
But I never win
Oh Yolanda
Yolanda Vega
Get me out of here
Cause I'm so stuck here
Oh Yolanda
Yolanda Vega
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5. |
Wounded Knee
03:46
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Wounded Knee
Daddy went fishing today
Oh he didn't catch any
So we ate the worms instead
Well I guess It'll do
My wife packs my lunch everyday
But she always forgets the mayonnaise
Oh damn those dry sandwiches
Well I guess It'll do
I went to buy a pack of smokes today
They only had soft packs
I always break a few
Well I guess It'll do
My boss told a joke today
Oh it wasn't funny
But we all laughed Ha-Ha-Ha
Well I guess It'll do
I went drinking out with the boys
Oh my wife wasn't happy
So I slept on the floor tonight
Well I guess It'll do
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6. |
The First State
02:55
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The First State
Baby baby, you held through the night
Baby baby, you held through the night
The Wayne Newtons and the Red Roof Inns went through the night
The landing strips through the car dealerships went through the night
Delaware might be the first state, uh-huh
But that don't give you
Permission to hit her
Delaware might be the state of tax free shopping
But that don't give you
Permission to hit her
Baby baby, you got to leave him
Baby baby, get out while you can
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7. |
Jehovah
01:17
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Jehovah
I can't wait to wipe my wife's ass
That’s what I call love
I can't wait to help my wife walk
That’s what I call love
I can't wait to clean the dishes, mop the floors,
Take out the garbage, bring home the bacon
That’s what I call love
I can't wait to be a Jehovah
That’s what I call love
I can't wait till my wife dies
That’s what I call love
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8. |
Carpenter
03:35
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Carpenter
Oh I became a truck driver a truck driver
To kill the days
Oh I became a truck driver a truck driver
To kill the pain
Oh I became a welder a welder
I became a welder by trade
I became a welder to piece things together
But I can't even piece my own life together
Oh I became a painter a painter
I became a painter by fate
I became a painter to make things look different
But they just turned out all the same
Oh I became a barber a barber
I became a barber by mistake
I became a barber to cut people's hair
But that shit just keeps on growing
And growing
No thanks to Rogaine
Oh I became a carpenter a carpenter
I became a carpenter by faith
I became a carpenter because Jesus did it
But that shit ain't easy
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9. |
Webster
03:27
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Webster
The trains don't come around here no more
That train ain't ever coming round the bend again
Bundle up the lake effect snow is moving in
Followed swiftly by a recession
The snow plows don't come down my street
I can't blame my family
Mother put clothes on layaway for me
They're still there till this damn day
I'm glad this is where life is worth living
I'm glad this is where life is not worth trying
I'm glad this is where life is not worth fighting for
I'm glad this is where life is not worth dying for
You're just a bus stopped at the railroad tracks
Waiting for something that will never come
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10. |
86 Copernicus
03:25
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86 Copernicus
The pulleys between our hearts pulled too fast
Everything that pulls, pulls to snap
Oh I came all over her chest
But that adhesive wouldn't last
We saw a sheep being born on that day
The same day our relationship passed away
Oh I cried I wept all night long
Counting every second on the clock
Hoping my life wouldn't last that long
I believe the world is still flat
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11. |
Joe Smith
05:05
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Joe Smith
You told me to mow the lawn
For 7 weeks now
But I like the look of it
A forest is in our front yard
She uses a weed whacker to get to her car
As predators lurk around her
But don't worry I'll get around to it
I try to do our taxes early every year
These W-2s are never clear
But we need the money
January, February, March come around
On April 15th I get out of the house
And wait 5 hours in line at the post office
But don't worry I'll get around to it
I needed to go shopping for 4 months
Our shelves are as barren as Canton, NY
One bar at least they got their priorities straight
Ramon Noodles is the only food in the house
She hates the taste of it
And her shit turns green
Ill, but don't worry I'll get around to it
I haven't taken out the trash in awhile
It's all stacked up in piles
On our back porch
Rats have infested the house
They've slept with my wife too many times to count
And sit on my favorite couch
But don't worry I'll get around to it
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los halos Phoenixville, Pennsylvania
Born in Downingtown, grew up in Seattle, lives in Schwenksville.
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